It is yet another example of God’s great timing that this exciting parenting resource has fallen into my lap. With three little ones, often my only goal is survival! At times, it does have to be that way. But as they grow, and I see how very different they are from each other (and from me!), I am finding that I want additional resources to tailor expectations and discipline to each child. And to handle conflicts they have with each other, particularly now that we have a 4 year old and a 2 and a half year old sharing a room–eek!
Hettie Brittz’s Growing Kids with Character helps parents identify and better understand their child’s underlying temperament, or natural bent. The author has developed tree metaphors for four basic temperament types, along with “hybrid” types. Our kids may be fun-loving Palm Trees, strong and productive Rose Bushes, rule-following and sensitive Boxwoods (or topiary bushes), peace-loving Pine Trees, or a “combination” plant. The book includes a code to take an online assessment and receive a free child profile report.
The purpose of better understanding our kids’ temperament is to better answer these two questions as we parent:
- How can I love you best?
- What are reasonable expectations as you grow into adulthood?
To aid parents in answering these questions, the author provides a wealth of very practical encouragement. She details ways to communicate, teach, discipline, and disciple, specific to each “tree type.”
I appreciated this practical encouragement. For example, give your Rose Bush child choices; she will feel empowered and will be more cooperative. And beware of this response: “No! I don’t like my choices!!” This example in the book made me laugh out loud because I have heard these very words from my four year old! Now I have a follow-up strategy!
I appreciated as well the chapters on the philosophy behind the “tree types,” and on parenting more broadly. It’s always helpful to lift my eyes beyond the day-to-day and see the bigger parenting picture. The author makes clear that our own relationship with the Lord forms the basis of our relationships with our children. Our ultimate purpose in parenting is not to produce children with excellent manners, many friends, an illustrious career, or any other external, but rather: “…the aim should be to accompany children on their God-given paths so they might reach their own best destinations. God’s plan for us and our children is ultimately for us to follow Him, and to encourage the generations down the line to do the same. …Their paths have to differ from ours because God doesn’t clone people.”
Finally, I loved the encouragement to respect and appreciate our children’s differences: “Occasionally, sit back and observe the beauty of their personalities.” Yes, this stage of my children’s life keeps me hopping with seemingly endless mundane tasks (diapering, feeding, laundering, monitoring bathroom trips). But this also is an exciting time to watch and marvel as my children’s God-given personalities unfold. By His grace, my husband and I have the opportunity to develop these young minds and spirits.
If you are interested in the book, and a giveaway, click on the image below.
If you are interested in a companion book about tree types for moms, click here.
I received this book in exchange for an honest review.
Interesting topic, Mollie. Wish I would have had some of these resources when our kids were the ages of yours. And yes, we cannot expect to raise perfect children, but do the best we can to raise them up in the nurture of the Lord. God bless you as you continue to do that. <3