Nothing to Fear

Under his wings you will find refuge…You will not fear the terror of night –Psalm 91: 4-5

“Mom, mom!” my six year old stumbled into our room at 1 a.m. Thursday night, sobbing and shaking. “The lights keep flashing! The fire is burning up my hand! I’m so scared!”

Disoriented, I mumbled something about a bad dream, and pulled her to me. As soon as I touched her, fear seized me. Under her flannel nightgown, her thin little body really was burning, hotter than I’d ever felt her. “My eyes!” She sobbed again. “I close my eyes but the lights are still flashing!”

Out of bed with a bolt, I fumbled for the thermometer while my husband poured medicine. As the numbers climbed on the digital thermometer, my heart raced. Our daughter continued to shake and cry out that the lights were flashing. When the thermometer beeped, I choked back a sob and went into the bathroom, shutting the door so neither would hear my conversation with the on-call nurse.

The nurse said she needed to go to the emergency room. We tucked her shaking frame into her coat and boots, and my husband was out the door, carrying her in his arms.

I stumbled back upstairs and managed to get my whimpering four year old back to sleep. Then I collapsed on my bed. I reached for my Bible, and it opened to the page I had bookmarked, in the book of Psalms: I trust in you, O LORD, I say, “My times are in your hands” (Psalm 31:14-15).

“My times are in your hands, God…and so are my daughter’s,” I whispered. An image appeared in my mind. Again, my helpless daughter was being carried out the door by strong arms. Except, this time, the arms were her Heavenly Father’s.

I closed my eyes, resting in the comfort of this picture. My phone beeped with a text from my husband. Her temperature was down to 99 and the vision disturbances were gone. After a few more minutes, he sent another text. The doctor would be discharging her shortly.

Again I opened to the same Psalm. How great is your goodness, which you store up for those who fear you, which you deliver for those who take refuge in you…”

My husband and daughter arrived home a little after 4 a.m. Friday morning. We settled her into bed with her beloved bunny, Bun-Bun, and stuffed parrot, Squawk-Squawk. She slept peacefully.

By Saturday, my daughter felt well enough to make a Valentine for Grandma, an “extra big card,” she explained.

I thought about how terrified she had been the night before. Just a few days earlier, after a devotion about the 10 fearful spies who would not lay claim to the Promised Land, my daughter announced, “I’m not afraid of anything anymore now, because I’m six.”

At what age, I wondered, can we say truthfully that we are no longer afraid of anything…it seems as I get older, there is only more to fear, more to worry about, more to keep me up at night.

Yet, God keeps calling me, urging me to seek refuge under His protective wings. He keeps reminding me that all my days, all my nights, and those of my children, are in His powerful hands. He gives me the beautiful picture of Himself tenderly holding my children: He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to His heart; He gently leads those that have young (Isaiah 40:11).

As He carries my girls, He leads me, their mother, toward the land He has promised for me. On our way, He teaches me, ever so gently, that under His care I have nothing to fear.