New Growth

Yes, our Christmas tree is still up. We are going for a new record. We are overachievers.

I’ve been avoiding the tree, avoiding even looking at it. Which is quite a feat, considering it is an 8 foot behemoth of a blue spruce, taking up the better part of our living room. Branches drooping low, I figured. Needles dropping all over, I fretted. Then one morning last week, in the light from our east-facing living room window, I really looked at it. It’s not drooping or even dropping needles. In fact, the tree has been growing.

What?? The top of the tree sports several inches of fresh, new growth, the exact shade of lime from last summer’s pack of neon sidewalk chalk. The new growth pushes up against the ceiling.

How is it that a tree cut 6 weeks ago and living in an 8″ diameter metal ring inside a house has grown three inches? It has taken so little water in the last weeks, just a cupful here and there. Conditions certainly don’t seem conducive to long-term survival, let alone new growth.

Conditions for me as a mom of several little ones don’t seem conducive to my own growth. Nearly all my energy is consumed by the demands of their needs, and they need so much right now. Food. Clean diapers. Reasonably clean bedding. Hugs. Reassurance. Play. Refereeing. Discipline. For myself, anything but my survival has been put on hold, or so it would seem. Sleep, exercise, “me-time,” time with friends, time with God…they all are at a minimum. I live out my life in my living room and my kitchen, taking small sips of conversation with mom friends, of “me-time” distilled into a single cup of tea, of God-time consisting of a couple minutes with the Psalms and a brief prayer to help me through the rest of the day.

And, right now, it is enough. This isn’t a blog entry about carving out more time for myself. In this season of my life, there isn’t any more time. In this season of my life, I just don’t look down. I don’t fret about what may be drooping, or dropping. I choose to look up. And when I do, I see something wonderfully surprising. I see new growth.

I see fresh shoots of unselfishness as I work hard for the growth of others. Shoots of contentment with the small space in which I spend my days. Shoots of appreciation for the support of my husband, sisters and friends during this demanding season. Shoots of thankfulness to God that he knows exactly what I need in those limited moments with him. No, I am not merely surviving. I am being renewed. Refreshed, each day. I am growing!