Momma, Don’t Drop Off the List

Being a mom is a calling from God. It’s my vocation. My primary vocation at this time in my life, primary defined as that which consumes most of my physical, mental, and emotional energy. So I need to make sure I have physical, mental, and emotional energy to expend, right? For now, I have no plans to run a 10k or finish the library’s adult summer reading program (good thing–I’d have till Friday to read 9 1/2 books). But I do want to make sure I don’t drop off the list.

Yes, there is an actual list.

A few years ago, I attended a women’s conference and heard a great presentation about our vocations. (You can get info on the next conference here.) We can think of our lives as endless “to-do’s”, or as relationships that compete for our time and attention. Or we can recognize and acknowledge that all our responsibilities and relationships are opportunities to serve other people–callings that God himself has given us and for which he has equipped us.

For me as a mom, the presentation reminded me that God gave me this tough job of motherhood. “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance so that we would walk in them.” (Ephesians 2:10) God has given me these particular children at this particular time in my life. Serving them each day is his work for me.

And God has equipped me for this calling. “But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it.” (Ephesians 4:7) He has given me specific gifts to carry out this work, a mix of gifts that differs from those who are not raising young children, and even from other moms, each of whom is blessed with a unique family makeup.

So, the list. The presenter showed us a list of all his current callings. The first was “Child of God.” The second was “Steward of health.” Hmm. The presenter then said that he uses the list to evaluate which vocations he may be neglecting. He encouraged us to list all our callings from God.

I just did so last night (only took me several years to do my homework!). First on my list: “Child of God/Relationship with Jesus.” Second, I wrote: “Steward of health: physical, mental, emotional.”

Hmm.

So, how am I doing with that calling? Well, putting it on the list is a good first step. God has given me my body and my mind, and reminds me to take care of both. My other callings, including my calling as a mom, should not eclipse tending to my physical, mental and emotional health. And good health–both for my body and mind–enables me to fulfill all the other callings I listed.

Yet I feel somewhat uncomfortable talking about taking care of myself. In a self-centered society, it seems like that’s all we hear. Our world is all about “me time.” As a Christian, I’m not supposed to be about “me.” Shouldn’t I just worry about the other people in my life, and the “me” stuff will fall into place? Well….not exactly.

Taking care of myself doesn’t need to be first on the list. Putting it first would backfire. We see all around us examples of people whose increasing focus on themselves–and decreasing time and energy for others–actually makes them more stressed, isolated, and unhappy.

Nor should I feel that I need to get back to my “single gal” 4-5 days a week workout schedule, or the level of socializing that I enjoyed in the past. Trying to do those things would shortchange my calling as a mom, and create a lot of stress as I attempted unsuccessfully to carve out that kind of time. And, by the way, the same goes for the calling I listed first, my relationship with Jesus. I cannot spend the time in Bible study and prayer that I once did when I was single. And that’s okay. Being faithful to my calling as a child of God looks different now, but I am still fulfilling that calling by spending some time in the Word and praying throughout the day as he enables me.

I’m still trying to figure out what being a good steward of my health can and should look like for me. I’d like to jog. I’d like to swim. Is it really feasible for me to do either on a regular basis? Or, for right now, does exercising mean simply running around the yard with the girls? Writing does wonders for my mental health. But what kind of writing schedule will work for us as a family? My husband’s “free time” is so limited, too, and I need to be mindful of pressures that I might put on him.

These questions are hard. But thinking of taking care of myself as a calling from God gives me the right focus and the right attitude. Certainly I don’t want to take my cue from our me-centered culture. But I also don’t want to ignore my health…and drop off the list.

So, momma, I don’t have it all figured out, but I do know that we don’t want to be dropping of the list. Our God doesn’t want us to be dropping off the list. He calls us to take care of the bodies and the minds that he has given us. It’s worth the process of figuring out what that should look like for our unique situations. He enables us to come up with a plan and stick to it. He is happy when we fulfill this calling with a heart of faith in him. We are valuable to God, and he’s given us valuable work to do.