Are you an “unnatural” mom? A number of different writers and mothers reassuringly state that no, motherhood does not always “come naturally.”
That’s one of the premises behind a book by Hettie Brittz, The UnNatural Mother: Why You Are the Perfect Mom for Your Kids. She identifies four types of mothers in the book.
First, there are the boxwood moms. Boxwoods are a tall shrub that can be pruned to any shape. These moms are the rule followers, dutifully making the changes encouraged by their mom’s group, their pastor, etc. The palm tree moms are the opposite, happy-go-lucky rule breakers whose motto is: “Moms just wanna have fun.” The pine tree moms are all about peace, exuding the fragrance of calm in spite of poop blowouts and juice box mishaps. And, finally, the rosebush moms bring energy, focus, and a strong work ethic to any task, but also struggle most with the feeling that motherhood is an unnatural intrusion into their otherwise productive lives.
The point is to stop judging each other and accept each other’s unique gifts and challenges. Oh, yes, and to accept our own.
I really appreciate the honesty in a Mother’s Day article by Laurie Gaugher-Hested (originally published in Forward in Christ) about letting go of the judgments, because no one is a “natural” at every one of the myriad skills required in the complex process of parenting. She writes: “Some of us are naturals with babies, and some of us fumble around until the kids can clearly express their desire for peanut butter in English. Some of us love dealing with the drama of adolescence, and some of us enjoy kids best when they’re adults. Honestly, some of us are uncomfortable at almost every stage of the parenting process.”
I love that we have moms out there who are giving us permission to admit that we do feel uncomfortable some of the time…maybe a lot of the time as we navigate this crazy world of parenting.
