That’s right, we’re back in the potty training trenches. My youngest is 25 months old, and she can’t wait to be as grown up as her sisters in every possible way.
To capitalize on her eagerness, I kicked off the potty training with 4 days of the “bare bottom” approach. The technique worked for my oldest, and my middle child…eventually.
Both her older sisters have embraced their roles as potty training helpers. My middle daughter eagerly selects her favorite books and “reads” them to her younger sister, verbatim, as they both wait for the bodily processes that will earn my toddler a jelly bean or Hershey kiss. If you subscribe to the “no treats for Number 1 and Number 2” philosophy, kudos to you for taking the high road…here in the lowlands it’s pretty much the only trick I’ve got in my bag.
Oh, and the sticker charts.
My oldest, on her own, created a second chart for her sister, after the first got filled up.
Watching my two older girls support their little sister in learning to use the potty, I realized that they too are acquiring valuable life skills: empathy, mentoring, and teamwork.
Pondering this realization as I finished off yet another spray bottle of cleaner on the latest accident, I thought to myself: Now, really, could there be any better job than this?
Nope.
It’s still hard. Really hard. It’s so difficult making time to write. I set a schedule, and then something torpedoes it: potty training, kindergarten adjustment issues, or a poison ivy disaster after collecting leaves for my oldest’s leaf rubbing art project. Yes, that was really, really unfortunate. The girls did not come into contact with it, thankfully.
I did take the step of writing down all my unfinished literary projects, and taping the list to our family desk, alongside the stack of bills, the stack of books, the adding machine rolls for my husband’s church financial secretary work, and a pink dragon from a Little People castle set that did not find its way back into the bin when the bin was shifted to the pole barn six months ago (my attempt at rotating toys).
Looking up at the list, I count ten unfinished projects. It’s distressing.
And, probably, it’s hard for every mom, just in different ways. For some, it might be the lack of time with friends or simply other adults. For some, it might be the physical mess overtaking what once was orderly and a lot more sanitary. For me, it’s the lack of time to be creative, to write.
Last month, a Ken Burns documentary aired on the history of country music. I loved hearing the songwriters talk about their craft. But an upsetting trend emerged…whenever the subject of children came up, every comment was negative. Children hinder your career as a singer/songwriter. Children set you back. Children get in the way.
Even the narrator took this tone.
Yes, it’s difficult to create when you have little ones…whether your medium be words, or pastels, or marble, or musical notes. That’s reality.
But I wish that someone, somewhere, in the sixteen hours of film, would have said something positive about their children. I wish some singer/songwriter mom would have said: “Well, I didn’t write or record as many songs when my children were young, but having them was the best thing I ever did.” Or maybe some artist dad could have said, “Yes, I had a great music career, but I always tried to put my family first.”
Maybe I’m just looking for encouragement in the wrong place. Here is the truth that I need to hear once again: Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him (Psalm 127:3-5). Or, as the 95 Thesis for the 21st Century expresses it: Children are precious gifts from God, and it is a privilege, not a burden, to raise them.
Raising these little ones is a privilege. That is true no matter the list of creative endeavors that need to be put on hold, no matter the long days in the potty training trenches.
No matter whether we are also singers, or dancers, or photographers, or writers, we are–by God’s grace–first and foremost, moms.
